You know why they're wearing black? They're dressing for a god damn FUNERAL!

He's backkkkk.... the insatiable appetite for destruction (and for blogging) has been coursing through my veins since the last post, my fingertips literally itching at the thought of laying down some lines of truth on you suckas. Just a few topics to spit about this evening, but some good ones I think. And. Here. We. Go.

Oden, get healthy quickly or I'll start calling you Sam Bowie 2.0. I guess you can't expect someone who is seven feet tall by age 12 to hold up physically their whole lives, but could you at least give us a few games before you go down? Are you the spawn of satan? The frontcourt for the Blazers is Longggggggg when you are in the rotation (killer link, huh). We need you, the West is deep, even with Allen "You talkin' bout PRACTICE?!?!" Iverson departing down the long, depressing road to Detroit. I don't claim to know basketball, say, as well as this guy, but I know one thing: every championship team has a dominant big man. It's who you build a franchise around, and if it's not G.O. time, let us know now so we can scour Europe for some soft player named Pau or Dirk.

That Iverson link led me down the long, but not depressing, road of postgame rants. Check this, this, and this, and with God as my witness you won't be disappointed.

The Ducks, the Ducks, the Ducks. 44 yards passing. Most teams have a 44 yard pass a game. The fact that a deep route hasn't been called once this year, not even on a goof, is perturbing. What's more disappointing though is that MATT EVANSEN is still the NUMBER ONE on the DEPTH CHART. His fall to mediocrity, nay, horrib-ility is remarkable. 57%? In 9 games? What do you want Belotti, before you sit him down? 40%? 30%? How many momentum killers does a fan have to witness before something is changed? This guy hasn't choked as bad as Evansen has this year. And this guy. That's saying something. Back to the point. Please Belotti, call a fly route 1 TIME. You don't even have to throw it deep. Just get the safeties out of the box so we can run the football. Annnd I won't say I told you so, just let the stats do the talking: In the first half against Cal, the "Golden Bitc--- Bears" were 6 of 12 on Third downs, and 1 for 1 on 4th and 14. 6 of 12, Alotti. Your retarded schemes will never cease to amaze me.

Why is Darron Thomas not playing again? We burned his redshirt for no apparent reason, in a game all but lost? Remind you of anyone? What a waste. It is understood here in 760 nation that the best QB in practice is the one who is starting in the games. It seems that Masoli has looked the best in practice, which is good. For him. And yet, in games, his production has ben at times adequate but for the most part unfitting of a Division II QB. He hasn't been playing quarterback, he's been playing direct snap RB. So, obviously, the critera of "whoever looks best in practice during the week will start, and play, regardless of how dismal their stat line is" doesn't work. Darron Thomas came in, against a prevent D, designed not to let the other team score, dropping 8 men into coverage, and threw for 215 yards and 3 scores. In a quarter. Cal essentially ran a prevent defense for the entire game, dropping 8 men into coverage. Masoli's stats? 44 yards. Why not give DT a shot? The Ducks are bowl eligible, and are playing the next two games in the friendly confines. Otherwise, this lack in long term coaching judgement will be the worst since, well, DD.

Finally got ourselves an African-American president. Now the question is, can we get African-Americans to play baseball instead of Basketball and Football? Yes We Can. I hope. The game is losing it's Griffeys, it's Loftons, it's Robinsons, it's Jordans even (1. Lofton = favorite player, all time. 2. I guess the game could lose it's Jordans without anyone caring. What a novelty... but, ) Something to think about.

Seen Michael Dunigan? If you haven't, don't worry, he'll be dunking on your favorite player in the near future.

That's all for now; as my life spirals into an abyss of trampoline jumping, eating, and trying to figure out why Legendary setting on FIFA 09 is so god damn difficult, I'll try to put aside some precious time to keep this blog alive. PEACE, world.