V Dub is back!

I know you all have missed me. I too have grown tired of the chumps bombasting this blog with wisps of clarity but only minute occurrences of rationale. French for rational, I would assume. Guess not.


Let's talk Duck football for a minute. Attending every football game this year except the ones against We-Swear-He's-Heisman-Worthy Curtis Painter and Purdue, and God-We-Wish-We-Played-In-The-WAC Washington State, V Dub has seen a few things. There are things V Dub likes, and things V Dub doesn't like.

Things V Dub likes:

1. LeGarrette Blount. How could you not like this? Or this? Or this?? Yeah, Jeremiah Masoli will LIGHT YOU UP too. But back to the subject at hand... How did the Ducks score this guy? Didn't have the grades out of high school... commits to Auburn out of JC... decommits... kills defenders? Thank god for the city of Perry, Florida. This guy has the tools to be the next dominant NFL back. 6'2, 235, breakaway speed... remind you of anyone? Now imagine AP with 20 more pounds of muscle. If I'm an undersized linebacker (cover 2 anyone?), I am peeing my pants watching film.
2. The play at Defensive End. First off, who doesn't like Nick Reed? The Grandmas of guys he has flat out steamrolled during games attest to his manners. He makes Mr. Rogers look mean, and then he drills him from the blindside. There's no way you cannot like this. There is no way a guy his size (6'2, 255... Ding!) should have his numbers. Combine that with Grandpa-in-training Will Tukuafu (I wonder if BYU called to recruit?) and, for their size, you get the best pass rush this side of USC.

Things V Dub Doesn't like:

1. Playing Darron Thomas, and the not playing Darron Thomas. Why burn the 'shirt if he ain't gonna play? Dennid Dixon 2.0 could have done exactly what Masoli did last week, probably with better passing numbers. I don't know what is holding this kid back, but once that is rectified, he is going to be a star in this offense. Roper is not the answer. Masoli is a stopgap. Thomas is the future. You have 2 weeks, Belotti. Get this kid ready, and Thomas can kill ASU.
2. Matt Evansen. Really Matt? You have kicked out of bounds in EVERY game this year, sometimes twice. Once a YEAR is one time too many. Add in 2 missed extra points, 2 blocked field goals and some good old fashioned shanks, and you get a skeleton of last year's Groza semi-finalist. Enough is enough. is Enough (Haha really John McCain? Somehow I don't believe you). More like Enough. Ahh, that's better. But seriously Matt, you look like a pussy kicking that football. Until you get things straightened out, give Josh "Beer Belly" Syria the kickoff duties, and we go for it every fourth down inside the 50.
   
3. Nick Aliotti's Defensive schemes. Teams up 70-0 in the fourth quarter blitz more than you do. I commented on how sweet Reed and Tuk are... they have been putting up numbers in 4-on-7. Wonder why our secondary is getting smoked? You don't BLITZ. QB's have 8,9,10 seconds to throw. I could throw against a zone, or man for that matter, with 8 seconds. Reed could even do that. We have excellent corners. Lockdown. Get them up to the line, bump and run, and blitz. And if the LBs aren't ready for the play action (god damn that play action!) by the time ASU rolls around, I'll seriously be calling for Aliotti's head. I get it. He's Belotti's buddy, and they've had some success together. But any success has been strictly offensive. The reason the Ducks led the country in picks a year ago? When you're up by 48, teams tend to throw more, even when you drop 10 and rush 1. Figure it out, and soon. Blitz, you idiot!
   

Enough Football, except for this: Pacman, what don't you get? Do you even like football? Money? Fame? Maybe you like infamy. Was Jerry not nice enough to you? I don't get it. Oh, and to the guy cutting off his pinky so he wouldn't miss a start? Gross, dude. There is life outside of football, you know. Pacman just enjoys that life too much. Andddd, get a clue brother... you play in DIVISION II!!! I don't think your buddy that plays QB/Punter/DB will mind if you miss a few games.

As I told my buddy Tamahawk earlier, a boo and a hiss to every Rays fan outside of the 300 who have had season tickets since 1998, or the 301 who have had season tickets since 2003. Now the stadium is packed. Now merchandise is flying off the shelves. But what about in 5 years? Will the kid sporting a "Rayhawk" keep it to impress the co-eds at UCF? The guy in the Carl Crawford jersey, how quickly will you put that thing on ebay when he get's moved to sign the 100 million that guy deserves? Of course there will always be bandwagon fans, but more importantly, and hopefully, there will be those willing to criticize them. Still, regardless of shit fans, props to the Rays for slapping the Sox silly.

Sports, Sports, Sports. That's all there is. Girls suck. If a girl ever talks to me like they talk on The Hills, I would just walk away. This has already happened, and will probably happen again. And mad props to Boss Zack for denying a hottie when she told him she was a Cubs fan from the Southside. Man, sports again! But all girls can't really be retarded, can they? Who knows.

Chris Mertz was a "Healer Spec'd Knight Elf Druid" in World of Warcraft. Really? Come on, Chris. I hope no one you know reads this.

Any Asian girls out there? If you are one, and you don't talk like they do on that damn show, hit me up. We've got a lot to talk about.

Finally, this might be my favorite rap line ever (at least this week), courtesy of Tha Weezy:

Safe sex is great sex /Better wear a latex/Cuz you don't want that late text/that "I think I'm late" text.

Brilliant!


V Dub out like the lights in your mom and dad's bedroom.